


ah shit, here we go again

by curacha



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/F, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Alphonse Elric, also ed is trans ofc, also frig idc im posting my stupid chat fic ok, the title is a work in progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2020-02-28 06:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18750955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curacha/pseuds/curacha
Summary: just another fma chat fic cause, well, heh. you know...





	1. pass the hw mf

**Author's Note:**

> des: lan fan  
> pa: winry  
> cito: paninya  
> lingthing: ling  
> joth: edward  
> yalikejazz: alphonse

5:23 pm

cito: ok so who's gonna pass the chem homewrk

pa: paninya we had the whole week to do it

cito: ok and?

lingthing: wait, there was hw???

pa: oh my god

joth: the chem hw this week was rlly easy 

cito: then you should have no problem sending it our way, huh?

joth: uh

cito: do it coward

pa: paninya, no

cito: paninya YES

lingthing: ed pls im already on the verge of failing chem

joth: hmm then maybe you should put more effort into your work hmmmmm

lingthing: ill let you copy my english hw

joth: fine, only bc i never learned what a metaphor is and at this point im too afraid to ask  
joth: chem_hw.jpg  
joth: just change some answers so it doesn't look like your copied, n all that

lingthing: thank you, my bestest friend in the whole entire world!!!!!!  
lingthing: eng_hw.jpg

joth: yeah yeah just don't say ive never done anything for you

6:02pm

pa: wait ed do you actually not know what a metaphor is

joth: of course i know what a metaphor is

lingthing: your test scores in english disagree

joth: UP SHUT YOUR FUCK

pa: i dont mean to be that person but  
pa: how are you failing english, that class is an easy A

joth: we're in our creative writing unit

pa: yeah but its really not that hard

joth: WHATEVER it can still suck my ass

 

10:49 pm

cito: ok so who's gonna pass the math homework

joth: jesus christ


	2. orange.......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> des: lan fan  
> pa: winry  
> cito: paninya  
> lingthing: ling  
> joth: edward  
> yalikejazz: alphonse
> 
> when it has an arrow (username -> username) thats a dm but when it shows the time stamp thats just the group chat

11:23 am

joth: i hate freshmen so much its not even funny 

cito: ur right and u should say it!

yalikejazz: literally what have we ever done to u guys

joth: one tried to pick a fight with me today

pa: i once saw a freshie trying to pick the lock on my locker

cito: theyre always standing in my way when im tryna get to class

joth: theyre always blasting their shitty music during lunch

yalikejazz: ok u kno what… valid  


pa: but we love u, al!!!! ur the only valid freshie

joth: ur alright i guess

yalikejazz: wow  
yalikejazz: im rlly feeling the love in this chilis today

pa: ksdjnljfv

des: while we're hating on freshies, i'd like to mention the time one stole my lunch tray and then tried to fight me to see who should get it 

pa: WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN AKHAKJ

joth: did u do it

cito: who won 

yalikejazz: oh yea, i remember some kids in my grade talked about it for a whole week  
yalikejazz: im pretty sure theyre all scared of you

des: as they should be.

joth: wait literally what happened 

11:40 am

joth: ok dont answer then

12:11 pm

joth: thats it im asking ling

joth -> lingthing

joth: ok remember that time when a freshman stole lan fan's lunch n then tried to fight her

lingthing: lmao yeah

joth: did they fight??? like literally what happened

lingthing: oh, they just arm wrestled instead, and of course lan fan won

joth: oh

lingthing: then she offered her orange to the loser, and when he tried to peel it, it squirted in his face  
lingthing: theres no way that lan fan could have known that the orange would ruin his shirt but… i have my suspicions 

joth: wait wh  
joth: ok yea thats kinda scary 

lingthing: i know  
lingthing: just be glad that were friends with her

joth -> des

joth: hey lan fan did u know that i love and appreciate you as a friend

des: is this about the orange thing

joth: SKDJJNDF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading....


	3. y'all ever just *thirsts for riza hawkeye*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> des: lan fan  
> pa: winry  
> cito: paninya  
> lingthing: ling  
> joth: edward  
> yalikejazz: alphonse

4:12 pm

 

yalikejazz: ok guys quick question

yalikejazz: when did u guys first realize you felt some sort of same sex attraction

 

joth: middle school

 

pa: middle school

 

lingthing: middle school, i think

 

yalikejazz: DKFJVHJSVHF

 

cito: 6th grade for me

cito: only cause i found some of dominic's porn mags

 

pa: EJHFJSDHFJHSKJFHR 

 

yalikejazz: ok ur valid

 

cito: thnks

 

des: freshman year for me. 

 

lingthing: ah i remember that

 

des: actually, you dont. 

 

pa: lan fan is??? embarrassed???

pa: what is this world coming to

 

lingthing: lan fan can i PLEASEEEEE tell them

 

des: no

 

lingthing: she had a crush on ms. hawkeye and thats how she found out

 

des: actually you’re going to tell them anyway so go ahead

des: i knew it

 

pa: oh, we’ve all been there, no need to be embarrassed!!!! 

 

cito: yeah tbh like have u SEEN her biceps 

 

joth: stop talking about ms hawkeye winry just sighed dreamily

 

pa: skncsdnkjsdnfjd STOP EXPOSING ME

 

joth: I HEARD IT FROM ACROSS THE HALL WIN

 

pa: OK AND?????

pa: JUST LET ME DREAM 

 

yalikejazz: this is peak homophobia

 

des: tbh

 

pa: skjdskjdfkbfd

 

lingthing: would this be a good time to mention that lan fan got over her crush on ms hawkeye by getting a crush on another girl ;)))

lingthing: one that just so happens to be in our grade ;)))) 

 

des: ling.

 

lingthing: okok ill stop now jeez

lingthing: youre no fun :(

 

des: ill be plenty fun when you get back from soccer practice.

 

yalikejazz: can we get an f in the chat for ling

 

pa: f

 

joth: f

 

cito: f lmao

 

lingthing: …

lingthing: f

  
  


 

joth -> yalikejazz

 

joth: wait whyd u ask that in the first place

 

yalikejazz: well see the thing is,,,,,,,

 

joth: AL

joth: you dont have to tell me anything you dont want to, but u know u can always talk to me about anything

 

yalikejazz: yeah i know its just,,, ive never really done this before so 

 

joth: i get what u mean

joth: and you dont have to settle on a label or anything as of rn, just do what u feel comfortable with

 

yalikejazz: okok

yalikejazz: thank you brother

 

joth: anytime bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so basically ed and al live with pinako and winry, lan fan and ling are cousins, mei is lings half sister and all three of them live with fu, and dominic is an automail engineer in resembool instead of rush valley. i probably should have made that clear earlier kajsdnksc


	4. goth rights!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so ik i said this but the time stamp means theyre in their group chat and the the (username) -> (username) is a dm

11:33 am

 

des: des

pa: pa

cito: cito

joth: i hate you all so much

lingthing: edward, being homophobic as usual 

joth: ling, being biphobic as usual 

pa: shut the hell up none of you know the meanings of the words you're saying

joth: words have meaning? 

yalikejazz: this is why I hate juniors 

joth: SHUT UP FRESHIE

pa: shut up freshie

cito: lmao fresh meat more like

yalikejazz: wtf? im baby? you can't do this to me

joth: yeah they're baby stop bullying >:(

yalikejazz: YOU LITERALLY STARTED IT

pa: yeah you started it

joth: ok? your point?

pa: ur dumb

 

11:58 am

 

des: hey ling remember that one time you tried to go vegetarian 

lingthing: lan fan don't I will literally kill you in real life 

yalikejazz: owo? What's this?

des: yeah he watched a sad video about how some farmers were mistreating the animals and then tried to go vegetarian because it was too sad 

des: he only lasted a day, I found him crying and eating pork bean buns while apologizing to the animals 

pa: akdhjdjs awwww ling

joth: THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY HOLY SHIT

yalikejazz: shut up ed don't you remember when you tried to make a minecraft youtube channel? 

joth: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE Y

lingthing: oh this is getting good

yalikejazz: don't you remember EdwardPlayz, ed boy? :)

joth: oh yeah well DONT YOU REMEMBER WHEN MOM DROPPED YOU OFF AT THE FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN AND YOU CRIED SO HARD YOU THREW UP

cito: oh my god

pa: boys pls, we're all friends here right

joth: winry remember when I caught you making two girl barbies kiss and you cried and told me not to tell your parents 

cito: KANSHDDJAKKANDKDKDKS

lingthing: #lesbiantingz

pa: ok nvm, al you know what to do

joth: no wait wait pls

joth unsent a message

joth: i took it back dont tell them

pa: it's too late for that now everyone already saw the message

lingthing: SAY IT AL

cito: YEAH WHAT IS IT

yalikejazz: ed. my brother dearest. 

joth: fuck you

yalikejazz: dont you remember in 7th grade when you tried to dye your hair black by yourself. and you failed miserably and got black dye on the cat. and we almost had to take her to the vet bc she was licking the dye off her fur. bc i remember. i remember you having black hair for all of 1 month before it faded so much that your hair look dirty blonde and you let it fade completely bc everyone made fun of your black hair so much

 

joth has left the chat

 

des: oh my god

cito: KJSFHSDKJKDSJCNSDJSDSNACSKDJSNSAJDANCSJDASNDJSD

lingthing: LMFAOOOOOOO  
lingthing: GOTH ED REAL?

pa: goth ed real. for like 1 month

cito: THEWE ARE LITERAL TEARS IN MY EYES PLEASW I CANT

 

pa -> joth

 

pa: are u mad? 

joth: fuck you

pa: ill take that as a yes  
pa: dont be maddy waddy pls 

joth: add me back to the chat

 

12:21 pm

 

pa added joth to the chat

lingthing: uh oh  
lingthing: is eddie mad? 

 

joth -> pa

 

joth: I CANT DO THIS  
joth: I WAS MAD N I WAS GONNA CHEW U GUYS OUT NOW IM JUST GAY  
joth: EDDIE? FUCKING EDDIE? JUST KISS ME ALREADY

pa: so youre not mad? <:)

joth: no  
joth: i mean kinda but they were bound to find out anyway so :/

pa: well im sorry for what its worth

joth: its fine its really not that big of a deal 

pa: ok i just wanted to make sure youre fine

joth: yeah its cool

pa: ok thats good :)

 

12:25 pm

 

joth: im not mad but still fuck you guys

des: it was a valid attempt to express your goth self, i get it ed. goths have to stick together

joth: lan fan is now my only friend

lingthing: wtf????? this is betrayal 

joth: YOU WERE LAUGHING AND I KNOW U HAVE SCREENSHOTS ASSHOLE

lingthing: you may have a point there  
lingthing: eddie

joth: ,,,,,,  
joth: thats not my name

lingthing: yeah but a lil birdie told me to keep calling you that so

 

joth -> pa

 

joth: fucker

pa: :3


End file.
